Dear Jack,

Tonight on a Facebook group page on which I am one of the Administrators, someone posted the often quoted “love the sin, but hate the sinner” adage.   It was in response to gays of course, and used as a justification for being against marriage equality.  It got me thinking about the whole concept, about the religious conversation regarding gays, about the reality of my own experience and revelation of God.

It was just an opinion stated–one that is mired in fear and prejudges based on misinformation and, often, lack of direct experience of gay people as real people, individuals, Children of God.

Here is where we are lucky that it is an opinion. Science has demonstrated in overwhelming studies that same-sex attraction is natural, that it is present in other species, that there appears to be no choice involved in it.  Reason and logic can infer that one cannot truly “love the sinner and hate the sin” yet at the same time not apply that to themselves and their own sins.  If one must point out one particular sin as a judging factor of who a person is, I fear they miss the true meaning of love. I stand by this because generally the same faith tradition that gives us this platitude is also the same one that give uses “all sins are created equal”.  Why point out only one perceived sin? But that’s not really the point of the phrase, the point is to make the person who has this misinformation feel less guilty by wrapping it in religiosity and adding the bow “love”.  Revelation of God’s love in the world shows that God does indeed love all–that he does not list us according to our sins–and furthermore, reveals that God does not find being gay sinful. This is the revelation of the Holy Spirit to the world today–God created us gay, straight, and scales in between. Gay/straight/bi/questioning, we all sin but not in sharing love or seeking blessing on our relationships.

What is sad is that the above opinion of being gay is sinful can be so damaging to a person’s psyche that it causes self-hate; that opinion can be so blinding that people think bashing a person is doing that person good; that sending them to restorative therapy will help them when every leading psychological association says it can do great harm psychologically; that it leaves a lot of people who would otherwise be upstanding members of society on the wrong side of history and God’s love; that with that opinion people justify hateful actions that injure God’s precious creation.

The true sin around the word “gay” is not in those who identify as gay, but in those who act as if it is sinful. For it is in that belief, that so many are led to suicide, that youth are kicked from their homes by their parents, that people find themselves ostracized from their communities, that girls can be kicked out of school because they look to “boyish”, that people beat and kill because someone is LGBTQ, that nations can justify biased laws from calling it “propaganda” to so immoral it requires life in prison or even death, that people will torture others to make them change, rape women out of being lesbian–so MANY SINS THAT IT TURNS THE STOMACH! That is the true sin involved in homosexuality–not the gays and lesbians seeking marriage equality, nor the trans community seeking acceptance to be who they are and live as they feel God created them.

What fear blinds folks so much that they reinterpret God in such a manner, twist holy texts in such a manner, hide behind platitudes like hate the sin and love the sinner while in places like TN put forth laws allowing bullying of gays on the grounds of religious freedom? It it something that I cannot fathom.  What wondrous fear is this that makes so many act in such blind hate and pat themselves on the back as good righteous people for speaking God’s word?

The reality, is that times ARE changing.  Marriage equality will continue to spread.  Sanctions against countries with outdated laws will continue to be enacted. Transgender people will not need to fear being who they are, nor lose their home or job for it. We are on the verge of freedom coming to our communities–and it will be some time until we all have it!

Racism still exists despite the laws that protect one from being discriminated based on race, and many will need to still change as the latency of racism exposes their true nature such as the Stand Your Ground Law.  Sexism still exists despite laws protecting women–hell laws are still being debated that show sexism alive and well.  Homophobia and transphobia will still exist, well after our rights are secured.  And there will likely be a new group of people seeking an end to discrimination.

But we will win in the end–we will all find justice and equality.  For I believe deeper than any other belief, that God indeed is on our side, and that God’s purpose for us as Children of God is not that some are treated in any way other than equally with love.

I hope that our mainline faith traditions continue to see this revelation as well.  I am an Episcopalian, and my church has grown on this issue–it has wrestled with this issue, and continues to wrestle with it. Tons of money, time, prayer, and debate have gone into this diligently, intentionally, and thoughtfully.  And amazingly, the revelation of God in this has been to love, to include, to bless, and to raise up people in the Church of all races, sexes, orientations, identities, abilities, expressions, ages, classes as true “living members of Christ’s body and heirs of his Kingdom” with no outcasts.  And we are not alone–Buddhists, Jews, Presbyterians, Methodists, Lutherans, Humanists, Atheists, Agnostics, Pagans, Muslims, Hindus, and all the rest–there are a great multitude who are moving in this direction and pulling our faith traditions with us into a new world. And I say Thanks Be to God.